Sara Gonzalez
CNA and Patient Transporter, Marlborough Hospital / Surgical Day Care, 5/7/20
“The nurse behind me is Alison Belanger my girl.”
I work as a transporter, mainly for the OR. Now that there are fewer surgeries, I’m transporting patients for emergent surgeries and COVID patients, to and from radiology, to inpatient, wherever the transportation is needed.I am mentally and emotionally overwhelmed, and on an emotional roller-coaster. I get up every day, pray, work, drive home, cry, pray, get up the next day, dust it off, and keep moving. I’m grateful though. I’d rather come to work and help where help is needed than go home and wish I could help. It’s overwhelming for all of us, and we’re walking on eggshells because you never know. You aren’t safe anywhere, even though we take precautions.
Everyone I work with is amazing. We’re all ready to throw down with everybody. That’s what we’re called to do, especially in crazy time like this. Some of the staff have been here forever. It doesn’t take long to know we’re all family. I’m the new guy on the floor. The staff are awesome to me. They don’t make me feel less-than because I’m the transport girl. We’re family. Whatever they need me to do, if I can take pressure off of someone else, I'm going to do it. I'm hands-on. I'm ready and willing all the time. I'm not just a transporter.
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I try to talk to the COVID patients and give them words of encouragement. They can’t be in physical contact with their families, so I try to do what I can to encourage them, give them hope. Sometimes, I ask them how they’re doing and I can see it in their faces. They’re restless and shrugging their shoulders like, ‘How do you think I’m doing?’ I wish I could take away their pain. I wish I could heal them. We’re doing the best we can. Their bodies are fighting. We have to leave the rest of the work up to God. The other day, I was talking to a patient, telling him I hoped he got better soon, and twenty minutes later they’re calling code blue. Anything can happen and it’s so overwhelming.
I get up every morning and thank God for a new day. I woke up. God knows who didn’t get to wake up. Every morning, I ask God to guide and protect me and all of my co-workers, all of the staff who’ve tested positive, ‘Please don’t let anything bad happen to them.’ I know we aren’t supposed to talk about our religious beliefs, but God fills my heart with peace. I listen to worship music on the way to work to get my head in a positive mood. Let’s do this again. We were built for this. Victory is around the corner. The whole world is in chaos and panic, but someone has to encourage people. Faith over fear. This is just another obstacle. We’re moving forward and I’ll be able to testify someday.
I worry about my grand kids though. I have a deep bond with them and they don’t understand why I can’t be with them. I have my heart in my hands. I don't want to bring anything home to my family. I have three teenagers and I worry. I went into a room yesterday and the patient didn’t want to go to her test. She was ripping off her mask and I’m melting in my suit. We’re taking our precautions but we’re also endangering ourselves. But, this is what I signed up for. We keep moving forward. No turning back. If everyone got scared and stayed home, who would be here for the patients?
But most of all, I just love my team.
“My son Jeramiah, my quarentenior, decorated the hats . . .
it keeps him busy away from thinking of how COVID 19 took his prom away and maybe even walking the stage for graduation . . .
but better to be safe than sorry, God is still good!!”